(When To Have Sex, continued from page 8)

Can you see the fuzzy, vague moral relativism in these statements? Consider this one from a special "love" issue of Seventeen. In an article: "Are You Ready For Sex?" teens are advised: "It's one of the biggest decisions you'll make as a teen: when, where and with whom. Whatever your decision, you should make it for reasons that are right for and important to you."

Basically the typical advice given in Sex-Ed-Classes and literature and entertainment aimed at young people is this: If you're aware of the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases (STD's), if you're careful to use birth control and take steps to minimize the risk of contracting STD's, if you're with someone you trust and are open with your partner about your feelings, and if you're not being pressured and "feel" that you're ready, then you probably are ready--but no one can tell you for sure because only you can decide for yourself.

The Source

This is a lie, though, because there is Someone who knows better than we do when we're ready--God. He invented sex and gave it to us; it's a special gift, and He tells us in His word that that gift is to be enjoyed only in the lifelong covenant of marriage. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). That means that sex is acceptable to God only in marriage; any sexual activity outside of marriage is sin (which is called fornication, or sexual immorality, in the Bible). This is true for everyone, everywhere. God gives us the only sure way to know beyond any doubt whatsoever if you're ready for sex. It's not, "If you feel ready," or "If you take precautions." According to God, you are ready for sex if it's your wedding night. It's not merely being with someone you love or trust; it's being with someone you're married to.

Our Good

Is this restriction on sex to make us miserable? Does God want to deprive us of pleasure? Of course not. In fact, just the opposite is true. Since God made us, he knows what is best for us. His commands demonstrate His love for us. They're designed to protect us from harm.

This has always been true. Long ago Moses told Israel, "And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes which I command you today for your good?" (Deuteronomy 10:12-13). His commands are for our good. "For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments, and His commandments are not burdensome" (1 John 5:3). His laws are not to keep us from having fun, but keep us from getting hurt. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said, "He who despises the word will be destroyed, But he who fears the commandment will be rewarded. The law of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn one away from the snares of death. Good understanding gains favor, But the way of the unfaithful is hard" (Proverbs 13:13-15). God's word gives us "good understanding," and when we walk in God's way, we are avoiding the "hard" way that leads to pain and destruction.

This is especially true when it comes to sexual intimacy. God's design for our sexual fulfillment is the best and only blessed way. And there are serious, negative consequences--physical, emotional and spiritual--if we give in to temptation and surrender our virginity before marriage. When we reject God's way, we are setting ourselves up for heartache and hardship. The testimony of God's word and many young people who have failed to follow it provide overwhelming evidence of this fact. Remember our friend Taunya? She told us to do whatever we want to do, but later confessed that upon losing her virginity she cried for two weeks.

And the negative consequences of rejecting God's commands linger far longer than two weeks. How many young people have been scarred in their hearts and diseased in their bodies because they foolishly followed the lusts of the flesh instead of the way of God? How many young people in the church have shed bitter tears of regret because they traded their purity for a few moments of fleeting pleasure? Our loving Father, through His word, is telling us, "I don't want that to happen to you. I have something wonderful." And sex God's way--in the context of the loving commitment of marriage--is wonderful. It is worth the wait.

(continued on page 12)