The Christian Home

Adult Children Must Have Affection for Parents

That children (young and old) do have responsibilities to their parents are admitted by all except for those that are "disobedient to parents" (2 Tim 3:2-3) and are "without natural affection" (Rom 1:31). Some people will never believe they owe anything to their parents (2 Tim 3:7). Many youth have failed to learn (and/or were never taught) even the lowest sort of love for family members. This continues into adulthood for some and then they fail to teach it to their own children. It is very sad that some will never learn or experience natural affection. I have seen films of huge old battle-scared male lions playing with and licking their little cubs. Even they have a natural affection for them.

Adult Children Must Honor Their Parents

Children who have learned very young to love their families do not feel oppressed by the old age of their parents. They view all their responsibilities toward their parents as an honor. Children please God when they "repay their parents" (1 Tim 5:4). This type of sacrificial love is the opposite of selfishness, and it is something much more than natural affection. Paul declared, “Honor your father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)” (Eph 6:2).

Adult Children Must Serve Their Parents

Some people experience real love and learn it from within the church if they never learned it at home. Genuine Christians honor and respect (love) older Christians just as they do their own mothers and fathers (1 Tim 5:1-2). Jesus taught us how to properly honor and care for our "mothers and fathers" in the church and one another when He humbly washed the feet of His disciples. Later, the same night, Jesus said to his disciples, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:34-35).

We know Jesus did not command his disciples to literally wash one another's feet in perpetuity, as some folks would say today. The lesson he taught by this was humility, love, and service. Jesus said these things to his disciples shortly before he gave himself to die on the cross for the sins of humanity! If all you see is Jesus washing feet and his disciples washing each other's feet you have missed the point! The lesson was not about having clean feet or washing feet specifically, it is about serving one another. How much more should this lesson of service to be applied to our parents? When we were children, they served our needs; and when they are old, we must reciprocate that service to them.

Adult Children Must Love Their Parents

If we grasp the big picture, we each will do the fine tuning ourselves. The main thing to remember about our God-given responsibilities toward our parents is that we love them just as we are to love all people. We are to love all people deeply--right down to their souls! Genuine agape love is something we owe to everyone (Rom 13:8), especially our parents. Remember the second greatest commandment, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matt 22:39).

Adult Children Must Provide For Their Parents

Remember also, “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Prov 23:22). Christians are obligated support their parents financially whenever necessary. Jesus inferred this to be the case from the general command to "honor mother and father” (Matt 15:3-6). It was there that He rebuked the Pharisees, because they had neglected to provide for their parents. Godly children will bring joy to their parents. “The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice” (Prov 23:24-25). "He who robs his father and drives out his mother is a son who brings shame and disgrace” (Prov 19:26). Love your parents to the end!

Dan Morris
Galt, Ca.