The Christian Home

The Fish Bowl Family, Part 1

At first glance, the title of this article may seem rather peculiar. Yet, for those who are or have been family members of preachers, elders, or deacons, the title is appropriately descriptive of life for these families. Every family faces challenges, and without doubt, many families face unique challenges because of the status or work of one family member. Celebrity families must deal with the pressures of fame and often fanatical fans, to say nothing of a demanding schedule. Military families suffer the hardships of separation, frequent moving, and the perils of war. This series of articles will focus on the unique aspects of the families of preachers, elders, and deacons, which will be referred to in these articles as “ministry families.”

Fish Bowl Expectations

Few people are suited to keep and maintain fish. Many will hastily buy a tank and a couple fish, not realizing the work and responsibility that goes with it. They do not have the time for cleaning the tank, monitoring water temperature and ph, or even feeding their fish. As a result, the fish either die or are preemptively flushed.

Such is often the case with fish bowl families (ministry families). Church members are eager to have a preacher, elders, and deacons, but fail to realize that they have responsibilities in maintaining the “fish bowl.” Like many amateur fish enthusiasts, they want to get everything set up and then enjoy watching the fish maintain the tank themselves. Then, when they realize that it is going to cost them more effort and money than what they initially expected, they are disillusioned and ready to abandon them.

The Bible tells us that these families deserve to be taken care of. If a preacher, elder, or deacon works full time for the church, their families deserve full time support from the church (1 Cor 9:1-14; 1 Tim 5:17; Gal 6:6). Ministry families have the same physical, emotional, and spiritual needs as other families in the church. It is the church’s responsibility to make sure that the needs of these “fish” are taken care of.

Fish Bowl Fascinations

People are fascinated with fish. Every year, thousands of people visit aquariums or take up scuba diving just to look at the fish. We are fascinated with these beautiful and strange creatures that inhabit a different world than we live in. Often, such is the case with the fish bowl family. They are viewed as unique and different. Strange and beautiful creatures who live permanently in the watery realm of “religious life” while those who watch, visit that realm only occasionally (usually Sunday). However, the Bible says that we are ALL to be peculiar people (1 Pet 2:9) and new creatures (2 Cor 5:17). The spiritual standards that ministry families are expected to maintain are the same standards that God expects all Christians to have. There should be no fascination with the ministry families; we should all be just like them.

Another point about fascination with the fish, is that it is generally short lived. Often when someone gets their new fish tank, they “ooh” and “aah” over the fish for a while, but quickly get bored. It is like they somehow get the idea that the goldfish should be jumping out of the water like “Flipper.” But, goldfish just do what God designed them to do; swim around. In similar fashion, when the fishbowl family of the church is just doing what God intended them to do, people are easily bored and lose fascination.

Fish Bowl Invasions

The appellation “Fishbowl Family” originated from the concept of an utter lack of privacy. Fish are very timid creatures. Some thoughtful fish owners recognize this and put aquatic plants and caves for the fish to swim through and hide in. However, many simply keep the fish in a barren tank, or bowl, with little or no place for the fish to go. Fishbowl families also need privacy. Family meals or private time is often interrupted by church members who have trivial issues or Bible questions that can easily wait for more appropriate times. These families need the time and space to be away from everyone else and just enjoy their families. Jesus and his apostles also needed privacy and a retreat from the demands of ministry (Mark 6:31).

Ted Parks
Vacaville, CA.