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Divine Design For Marriage

The Bible should be considered "the manual for man by the man-Maker!" Our Creator's design for the happiness of mankind has been revealed in His word. Sadly, the mass of humanity continues to grope to find their own way (Jer. 10:23). Through the centuries, and continuing still today, men experiment with various arrangements. A partial list of failed attempts include: polygamy, homosexuality, communal partner sharing, and living together without marriage. Secular influences have so bombarded us, that many within the church, have unconsciously imbibed the poison of humanistic marriage philosophy. But our happiness and that of our children depends upon us giving and living by a "thus saith the Lord!"

Fundamentally, marriage provides for man's need for companionship. After the creation of Adam, God declared: "It is not good that the man should be alone" (Gen. 2:18). While there are some exceptions (e.g. Jehovah forbade Jeremiah to marry, Jer. 16:1, 2; Jesus; Paul), marital companionship is the norm; designed to fulfill mankind's physical and emotional needs. While space does not herein allow an exhaustive study, may we consider some key elements of the Divine Design For Marriage:

First, "leave" (Gen. 2:24). God requires a leaving of father and mother. This Hebrew word literally means "to loosen bands, and to let go" (Gesenius' Hebrew lexicon, 617). The leaving contemplated is not distance in miles, but rather a leaving of the domain and control of the parents. Many marriages suffer when one or both partners fail to sever the "apron strings." A new family unit is established, with a new "head" (Eph. 5:23). This is a particular challenge in cultures where the oldest living male is considered the head of the entire clan. If the husband or wife is always running to mommy or daddy this will damage a marriage.

Second, "cleave" (Gen. 2:24). A husband and wife are commanded to cleave one to another. The original word "is used quite often in the OT of physical things sticking to each other" (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, Vol. I, 177). The same word is used for the loyalty Israel was to have toward Jehovah. The first wife was created from the literal body of the man (Gen. 2:21, 22). God chose not to form Eve from "the dust of the ground" (Gen. 2:7), but from the rib of Adam. This was calculated to cause the man to consider his wife as part of himself, which Adam did (Gen. 2:23). Though we husbands today do not get our wives from our ribs, God desires that we still feel as Adam did. "Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies" (Eph. 5:28). This closeness is to mutually provide for the emotional and psychological needs of the pair.

Third, "one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Consistently throughout scripture flesh is used to refer to the physical. The homosexuality which was rampant in Sodom is described in the New Testament as going after "strange flesh" (Jude 7). God's intent is for sexual desires to be fulfilled in marriage (Heb. 13:4). These passions can be likened to a burning fire. Fire contained in a fireplace can be warm and beautiful, but when uncontained can be destructive and deadly. So also intimacy within marriage is a delight (Song of Solomon), but outside those bounds it is destructive (Prov. 6:32, 33). Since desires differ, as also do moods, each partner must strive to please the other (1 Cor. 7:1-7). Though there was a period when God tolerated other arrangements (Matt. 19:8), God no longer overlooks ignorance (Acts 17:30, 31). Our blessed Lord called humanity back to the original design of marriage when He quoted Genesis 2:24 (Matt. 19:5).

George Jensen
Pacifica, Ca.